It is often said that the internal state of our mind can dictate the way we feel in our lives. What I mean by that is, you might objectively be having the best day of your life. But if there was something shitty that happened to you the same day, say, a bird decided to drop a deuce on your precariously picked work shirt, or you happened to step in literal shit on the way to meet your significant other. A moment that derails your state of mind and can be enough to ruin your mood or make you feel like shit for the rest of the day. In a scenario such as this, more than likely you’re going to completely miss the fact that the rest of your day was fucking awesome.
What the fuck is going on?
While it is true that there’s a difference between subjective and objective experience. It is a falsehood to say that we don’t have agency over the choices we make. What do I mean by that? I’m certainly not implying that we can choose whether good or bad things happen to us. What we can choose, however, is how we choose to feel about our experiences.
“How we pay attention to the present moment largely determines the character of our experience and, therefore, the quality of our lives. Mystics and contemplatives have made this claim for ages—but a growing body of scientific research now bears it out.”
― Sam Harris, Waking Up: A Guide to Spirituality Without Religion
The Inner Asshole
We all have this asshole inside of us that we sometimes refer to as our “inner voice”. Well, what is this inner voice? The inner voice is nothing but the narrative we tell ourselves, whether it be about our thoughts, experiences, how we feel, or even how we should react to the outside world.
Why do I call it an asshole? Well, the thing is, usually it’s this same inner voice that’s responsible for all the misery and suffering that we experience. It’s responsible for the self-loathing you might have for yourself when you break your diet, or think of yourself as a fuckup when you procrastinate from things you really ought to, want to be doing.
This same inner voice can cause you to spiral. Especially when it comes to negative thoughts. You can be stuck in a spiral that keeps getting deeper the more you fall into it. With no escape or end in sight, you feel yourself slipping yet are unable to do anything about it, just waiting for the next round of self-loathing and hate to come around.
What can I do about it?
As I said earlier, it’s your inner voice. Just as it can be the cause of all the misery you experience, it’s equally responsible for all the happiness you experience as well. What’s important is to become aware of the fact that you have a narrative running in your mind. Practices like mindfulness meditation really do help when it comes to helping you identify when this inner voice starts filling your mind with crap. It’s in observing and understanding that you obtain the power to decide how you wish to feel about it.
It’s not that negative emotions disappear, or that you’ll never be sad again, but you can certainly make the negative emotions be felt for a much smaller duration of time.
What’s in your rearview mirror?
2 Replies to “Friend or Foe?”